Scared!

Since Maja is sick and have a bad cough we decided that I would sleep in her room with her. She have been sleeping in her own room for a couple of days and it works great. We have a spare bed in her room where i slept. We also put a pillow under her mattress so that she would come up and bit on a angel and hopefully this would help with her breathing and coughing. The night went well, she didn't cough at all or wake up. When i woke up at 7 i though i have a look at her and lifted my head, imagine my fears when i saw this, shit, i have never gotten out of my bed faster. I thought she would have been suffocated under the blankets. Luckily she had turned her head upwards so that she could get air.

We learned from this that maybe we did put up the mattress a bit too high. To be a first parent is such an amazing thing but it is also such a hard and scary thing and i believe in the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Its the most important thing you have ever done in your life but you have no idea what you are doing. The ideal way is to have people who have gone through all this living with you or close buy, mothers, sisters, aunties, friends, good neighbors. You always have to make decisions, decisions that seems so big and usually when you make big decisions you have a lot of background information but with this you don't, you sort of have to go with your gut feeling and hope for the best. Just small things like, shall i feed her now, she is crying but her feeding time is not until one hour or should i wake her up, she haven't eaten in four hours. Tiny little decisions that are massive when you are trying to make them just because you have no idea what you are doing and because it is another person that is relying on you.
I know im doing a great job, Maja is amazing, she is growing and she is happy but sometimes it is so easy to doubt yourself. Luckily i do have amazing family and friends who help, support and encourage me along the way.